I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
