Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize