So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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