You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
