Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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