If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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