so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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