I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
