Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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