Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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