You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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