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You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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