sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
