i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
