Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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