Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
