that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
