We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
