Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize