First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
