I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
