I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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