he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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