He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
