bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
