i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
