dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize