he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
