I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Sorry about my life...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
