We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize