i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
