if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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