Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
