Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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