I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
two words...techno handjob
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize