Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
