i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
