I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize