3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
