I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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