***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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