Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
