I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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