im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
