shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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