I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
