Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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