and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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