highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
