Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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