What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
