You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
