Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
