Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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