I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
