i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
