what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
