how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize