I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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