My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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