remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
