it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You were trust falling into bushes
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
