I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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