Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
