Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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