Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
