I have demons in me.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
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