Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
